Kathy Weckwerth

Everyday Encouragement

Uncategorized

The Wedding

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There is a hot spring breeze blowing through the big trees outside the living room.  As I look past the tops of those trees, I see my beloved little 1900’s church steeple and think about yesterday.  It was a milestone for us both.

Since I was a little four-year-old sitting next to Daddy in the church pew, I wanted only two things:  1) to be a pastor, and 2) to play the piano for church like the woman piano player at our Baptist church did each week, who sported the big beehive hairdo.

As the years of my life flew by, I started playing piano for church at age 12.  At age 14, I started teaching the children’s Bible study on Wednesday nights.  From there, I grew up and moved into a grown up job as a Director of Worship & Creative Arts.

One summer Sunday, my pastors were both gone and left me in charge to preach.  It was that day that I felt an inner peace and comfort for opening scripture and using my gifts, my stories, and Christ’s life to tie the lesson together and deliver to my congregation.

Time went by and I continued my worship leading, but eventually God stretched me and used me, delivering exactly what I needed, when I needed it.  I became a motivational speaker, founding and leading a ministry, and now have church services once a month at the little church that Dean and I moved to our grove five years ago.  I have a radio show, have written four books, and continue to push past the limits I put up for myself, and my denomination put up around me, when I was four.

Since I was 14, I have played the piano and sung for weddings.  I finally lost track about 10 years of the weddings I had been a part of, but while working in Elk River, my pastor Greg, was prolific at delivering messages for beautiful weddings.  I set out to become like him.

Although Frank Lake Covenant, now called The Church in the Grove, has housed three weddings, this fourth wedding was different because I was able to officiate the wedding at the little church.

The day was sunny and bright with a gentle breeze that waved the branches of the trees as though they were in awe of the celebration.  The bride and groom were so excited and their family filled the pews of the sweet old church.

Little children shouted and ran through the aisles, while dear old grandmas looked around at the surroundings and remembered their own childhood.

Friends came from near and far and laughter poured out of the windows and walls.

And when it came time for the welcome, message, vows, and final proclamation, I remembered my promise to my daddy, my old pastor, and myself.  I would honor them all, and above all honor God with the message He’s given me … to love others and be a light in the dark world.

It was an honor and a privilege to partner with my sweet building that currently hosts a picture on its wall of Luverne and Emma Sands, married at the little church in 1913.

Yesterday was a good day for the little church, the newlyweds … and for me … well, I just have one thing to say that I know would be important to the person who made the biggest difference in my life, my father.  Daddy … I did it.

What’s in Your Closet

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In television comedies, like I Love Lucy, an actor opens a surreptitiously bulging door to a storage area and is buried in an avalanche of junk. Something similar happened one day when all three of my daughters visited my home. My youngest, Jenessa, tried to open the basement closet door.

A small pow-wow between the girls produced determined attitudes. They announced it was time to clean out the big-crowded basement closet and they would help. The basement closet is everyone’s typical basement closet. It’s the place where everyone’s junk gets tossed. Three daughters, a mom and dad, all pitch whatever they don’t want to think about, into this big walk-in closet.

The shelves go from floor to ceiling and they are peppered with big plastic bins. You know the kind of stuff that’s in those bins … the things that you just don’t have a clue where to put them. They are the things you want to store, because you can’t make yourself get rid of them. You tuck them away, close the lid and walk away.

But middle daughter Chandra headed down the stairs and said, “I’m facing the bins. I’m facing the clothes and boots I don’t want, the old CDs, the stacks of books. I’m facing it all.”

Just like that she pulled out one of her bins without realizing that our old Monopoly game that’s taped together (it’s a throwback to 1975 and escaped the bin storage), money torn and pieces missing, was quickly scattered across the floor.

There we were, all four of us scrunched into this closet looking for pieces of the game.  There was some money; there was the thimble, a couple of green houses, a red hotel, and a Go Directly to Jail card. We started trying to put them all back in the box.

Jenessa said, “Mom, pieces of this game have been missing forever. We should really dump it all out and see what’s in it and go from there.”

And suddenly it dawned on me! That’s what we need to do today. We need to take a good long look at what’s in our hearts. We need to dump everything out and look at our motivations, our intentions, and our actions. We need to figure out where the words and feelings are coming from, why they’re in there, what it looks like, and if we have just taped up the box and shoved it on the shelf with pieces that are missing, torn or broken. We need to dump it all out today and take a look to see what we’ve got.

King David is referring to God when he says, “Create in me a pure heart, oh God.” In order to dump out his own words and look at them, he’s going to replace what’s in there with the good stuff of God … right back into the box of his mind and heart … seal it up with some strong God-tape… and go from there.

We stuff life in, we keep things we don’t need to and harbor resentment that tatters and frays the edges of our heart and then we stuff it all in and put it back on the shelf of the closet of life. But that stuff, those pieces, will eventually come out. Often, if we’re not totally aware of what we’ve stored in the heart’s bin, it will come out sideways resulting in sin.

It’s time to dump everything out. It’s time to go through the pieces and see what belongs and what you need to clean out. Let’s start with a spring cleaning of the heart and soul. Let’s open the doors, breathe in the fresh air, and feel renewed.

Proverbs 4:23, “Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts.”

 

Kathy’s Books Available Now!

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As a little child, sitting in English class was the last thing I wanted to do.  Get me to the music … that’s all I wanted.

But as the years went by, I felt grateful when I’d hear my teachers say, “It’s time for you to write an essay.”  Or, “Pick a topic and write a story.”  The more that I was able to write, the more fulfilled I would feel.

Creative interpretation, creative writing, English, poetry, and speech classes all seemed to call to me and embrace me with a connection that helped me write my music.

Years passed and I would write an article for our church newspaper, or a sermon to deliver on a Sunday morning.

But when Farmer Dean and I moved the little church and I began to believe we needed Bible studies there, it became apparent that I might need to write my own.  I’d been struggling to finish a book on developing a strong worship ministry and the thought of moving forward without finishing something seemed unsettling.

I sought God in prayer, set up a pattern of what I thought my people needed, and dug in to write my first 10 week Bible study book, be.attitudes.  The next two books would follow as each year I needed another study.  The Story of My Life:  Joseph and Blaze Your Trail followed.

My pattern consisted of making Bible study exciting, comprehensive, and relatable through personal stories, Bible scripture, looking up scripture, questions, a prayer and even worship suggestions for your time together.  The books were created for a group to use or to use on your own.

You can purchase them right here on this site.

Wouldn’t those teachers be excited today?!  I know, I sure am!

Wintry Days & Depression

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So many times during long Minnesota winters, I find my friends discouraged and down, and even walk through depression myself.  Here’s the truth, whether you live in the dark days of Minnesota, Michigan or Wisconsin, or you’re walking in the sunshine of California or Arizona, every single one of us faces depression at one time or another.

My daddy used to put life’s struggles into three different columns.  He’d say the first column is for everything that is circumstantial.  What’s happening in your world?  Are you sick?  Did your spouse lose their job?  Do you have a lot of bills piling up?  That creates stress and depression.

Then he’d say that we live in Minnesota and so that was column 2.  Was it because the winter was long and dark and you weren’t getting enough sunshine?  It’s a proven fact that up to 90% of our vitamin D comes from sunlight.  Vitamin D is required to help prevent bone diseases, muscle weakness, and some internal cancers.  It can speed the healing process.  If we had colds in the summer, Dad would say, “Get outside with a book and sit in the sun and read.” We need sun and light.  Plus it makes us feel more motivated and energetic.

Column 3?  Well, that’s the one where it’s a chemical imbalance.  Something isn’t right within your system and it’s creating the depression.  You need to see a medical doctor for treatment and at times, get into a counselor for sessions.

Mostly, for me, it was column 1-circumstances.  I’d get discouraged over some big car break down that wasn’t planned.  I’d feel mopey over a friend moving.  I’d get depressed when things weren’t going right with the kids, or I had ministry issues with clients or staff.

Once and awhile, I would become depressed in the winter, and as I’ve gotten older, I really dread Januarys in Minnesota.  Dark and dreary days tend to get me down.

Although I have never experience column 3, I have had friends and relatives walk through the dark days of depression.  I have listened.  I have learned.

I remember a time in my life where I felt headed from column 1 to column 3 and tried everything in my power to stay out of that column.

I entered the process of going through a divorce.  Dark days enveloped me.  And the circumstances were overwhelming.  I didn’t have enough of me to help my children much, and they plummeted into all 3 columns quickly.  I fought hard to stay above water, but quite often, there is nothing you can do.

After sitting in front of a counselor, I remember he said, there are things that can help you to slow down the emotions …. get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, eat 3 times a day healthy foods, avoid sugar, except eat dark chocolate as that helps provide serotonin to the brain, an important chemical in our system that relays happiness to the brain.

Although I felt like I was at the bottom of the pits of despair, I eventually was pulled out and life became more balanced.  That doesn’t happen for everyone.

Whether you are feeling the discouragement of something sad happening, or dark winter days, or you’ve plummeted into the depths of despair, there is hope.  God is near and He loves you more than you’ll ever understand.  There is hope.

Start looking at your life.  Put things into columns and see where it all works out.  Bad things pass.  Trials are endured.  Clinical depression needs medication and a great doctor.  But in the end, we’re never … ever … alone.  God walks with us.

“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

 

Becoming a Person of Authenticity

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This topic takes me back to 6th grade.  A girl who had been in my same classes year after year, just didn’t like me.  walked home with her from school and said, “I’m so sorry we haven’t gotten along very well.  I’d really like to try to be friends.”

If that wasn’t real and authentic, I don’t know what was.  I remember feeling like I’d poured everything from my heart right out onto the sidewalk.

Without missing a beat she looked straight at me and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Boom.  That was it.  I recoiled inside myself and thought I’m never pouring my heart out again.  Oh, but I did.  So much so, that Dad told me one day, Kathleen if you have any character flaws it’s this one for sure … you wear your heart on your sleeve.

Open and honest.  That’s how I like to be.  Vulnerable …. well that’s scary.  But genuine, that’s more my speed.  What about you?  When we’re thinking about being authentic and not being fake but really truly being real in our everyday life … what people see is what they get, how are you doing?

That’s authenticity to the core.  Real … believable.  No shame.  No hiding.  No embarrassment.  Just real.

And what about that vulnerability factor?  Well, if you’re anything like me and you’ve had the trust kicked right out of you, vulnerable isn’t something you want to be.  But in order to truly reach people at a deep level, you have to allow yourself to display these things: authenticity, realness and vulnerability.

The down side … people can hurt us.  They can look you smack in the eyes and say “Huh?  I don’t get it.”  Because guess what … they’re not being real.  Or you can risk being vulnerable and have people make fun of you, laugh at you, or be unkind to you.  That’s painful.  I know.

I think about some serious times in my life when I was really hurt, but sometimes it’s the funny ones that stick in the forefront of your brain.

I remember getting up in front of 400 people at one of my church services and saying my usual, “Good morning, and welcome.”  I’d start out with something emotional or funny, or something to connect them to the sermon topic.  Mostly, it would be about scripture, sometimes about Farmer Dean.

One day I told the congregation about how I mistook the back field of soybeans for corn.  I was new to the farm, saw the short crop and thought something was terribly wrong with the corn.  Until Farmer Dean told me, “those are soybeans.”

The crowd roared.  In my vulnerability, I was proving a point.  That I made mistakes just like the next guy.  And you know what the vulnerability did?  It made me closer to everyone of those people.  We laughed together at my silliness and I let them in to my soul.  They didn’t ransack.  They didn’t ridicule.  They just embraced me for my authenticity.  I told them the truth.  I make silly mistakes.

Here’s what I know about Being Authentic and Real …

  1. It takes maturity to do this.
  2. You have to be comfortable with who you are.
  3. You have to trust others
  4. It makes you stronger
  5. It opens you up to criticism, jealousy, and the pickers … people who are going to pick you apart because your heart is open and on the table.
  6. It can make people mad (because they’re not real)
  7. It can get you in trouble because sometimes closed people resent authenticity.
  8. It’s the best choice to be your best.

Scripture tells us in Proverbs 12:22 “Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight.”

Are we dealing truthfully with one another?  With ourselves? Just try it this week.  Try being your real self.  Just real.

Who knows, maybe people will laugh right alongside of you, and become even closer to you because you were truly authentic and real.  Maybe you’ll think that corn is soybeans, and life will still continue … just maybe.